Thursday, December 24, 2009

the longest four days before Christmas


last saturday evening i watched my wife and son walk through the gate to sit and wait for their plane. i watched as ang and riley took their shoes off to be x-rayed. i watched as my son smiled and my wife as she carried him out of view.
my heart broke. i never knew i could love two people so much. i never knew that i would be so sad.
angie's family is in st.louis and i had to work up until the day before Christmas eve. i was unable to travel with them to st.louis and so being the good husband i am, i wanted her to spend time with her family before Christmas (we are spending it with my family in harlan county this year).
i spent the week without my family watching cartoons and eating a lot. at night i would lay in bed praying that i would see them soon and falling asleep holding riley's blanket (weird i know, but love makes me mushy on the inside...so i guess the inside matches the outside).
now i sit in the airport waiting for them to walk out and give me a big hug. i look forward to hearing my son laugh and talk non-stop. i am excited to talk to my wife as we drive 4 hours to harlan county. i cannot wait to spend the next few days with my family all around me... no matter how annoying some of them can get. i love them all.
Christmas has a new meaning to me now. i don't care about receiving or giving gifts... i just want to be with the people i love.
thank you james for talking to me many nights as i watched king of the hill. i am sure you got sick of me talking about my family.
thank you cartoon network for playing batman the brave and the bold over and over again.
thank you dishnetwork for creating dvr.
thank you God for my family and this life. i never thought i could be blessed this much with so little money.
Merry Christmas everyone!!!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

happy horror days!


my good friend, co-worker, and official beattyville dork, tyler, showed me a scary myth of one of santa's unpopular helpers. he isn't a sweet little elf who makes toys out of wood. not a reindeer that flies him around the world... he isn't even the man who cleans up the stables... he is evil and will turn you into sausage.

"Krampus is a mythical creature. In various regions of the world – especially Austria– it is believed that Krampus accompanies St. Nicholas during the Christmas season, warning and punishing bad children, in contrast to St. Nicholas, who gives gifts to good children.

The word Krampus originates from the Old High German word for claw (Krampen). In the Alpine regions, Krampus is represented by an incubus-like creature. Traditionally, young men dress up as the Krampus in the first two weeks of December, particularly on the evening of December 5, and roam the streets frightening children and women with rusty chains and bells.In some rural areas the tradition also includes birching – corporal punishment with a birch rod – by Krampus, especially of young girls. Images of Krampus usually show him with a basket on his back used to carry away bad children and dump them into the pits of Hell.

Modern Krampus costumes consist of Larve (wooden masks), sheep's skin, and horns. Considerable effort goes into the manufacture of the hand-crafted masks, and many younger adults in rural communities compete in the Krampus events.

In Oberstdorf, in the alpine southwestern part of Bavaria, the tradition of der Wilde Mann ("the wild man") is kept alive. He is like Krampus, but has no horns, is dressed in fur, and frightens children (and adults) with rusty chains and bells, but is not an assistant of Saint Nicholas.

In the aftermath of the Austrian Civil War the Krampus tradition was a target of Austrian Fascists allied with Nazi Germany."

leave it to germany to come up with this creature.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

ARGH!!! HAPPY HALLADAYS!


and this is my present to you... many crowns! this makes you a wise man!!!

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

we are not alone


this past sunday night i watched war of the worlds. loved the tv show in the early 90's and i did like the movie, but it caused me to wonder if we are the only ones.
then i see the news report about the sight in norway...
makes you wonder... or it could be a wormhole to the multi-verse.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Thursday, November 26, 2009

derek webb.... oh how you have changed.


i know that a lot of people have already posted this... i like this song, but he has changed a lot.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

oh Christmas tree


to avoid making my wife mad, i am going to suggest everyone who has a problem with happy holidays please read the article at relevantmagazine.com... this will make some of you shut up the next time you complain about holiday trees...

Thursday, November 19, 2009

confession


my frist confession by paint brush.

Friday, November 13, 2009

new list of the not so popular cartoons i watched as a kid.








beetlejuice
shirt tales
silverhawks
woody woodpecker
wuzzles
dino riders

there is a whole lot more. i wonder if i should be ashamed of how many cartoons i watched growing up? nah... it has made me the man i am today.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

mask



i was never a fan of hotwheels or tonka trucks, but throw in a superhero team with cars that transform into other things.... i am hooked...
i had a lot of mask toys. i remembered i always wanted the kid that had the robot that turned into a scooter... i just never found him... ah... to be a kid again.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

one of the coolest toys ever


i remember the day i got castle grayskull... it was one of the best days of my life.
i still have it in my basement. i am hoping someday riley will also want to play with the coolest toy ever.

Monday, November 09, 2009

the coolest game ever!



most of my friends loved street fighter and the sports games... not me... i loved mario bros type games. heck, i still do. so i was excited when paul told me about the remake of boy and his blob...loved this video game... now i just need to buy a wii.

the comic that changed my life


i was a freshman in high school when i picked up batman 489. my life was forever changed. robin had always been my hero, but when i discovered he was no longer wearing underwear as a costume... i was really happy to start reading comics again. i just thought i would post the comic that changed my life forever... sad isn't it?

Thursday, November 05, 2009

dell is the devil and the devil is bad


i started having computer problems monday night. i was unable to look at my facebook page nor was i able to respond to e-mails. it would always cause me to log back in. with each new log in screen, my temper started to show.
the next day i thought i would let tyler (star wars nerd, computer geek, good friend, and co-worker) look at my dell pc.
for some reason the problem would not show it's self at work on the court's network.
tyler informs me that it is not a virus, but something else... something wrong with the software.
stressed and missing the freedom of sitting on my chair watching cartoons while surfing the net pushed me to call dell (dum, dum, dum).
i call.
i get several voice automated messages.
i listen to an annoying recording of a woman telling me i could get the answers online (i really hate that message. if my internet worked do you think i would call this freaking number?).
finally a man picks up. he is from india. i can barely understand him and due to my country accent, he can barely understand me.
i try to explain to him what is happening, but he will not listen. he then proceeds to push me off on the next guy.
i am on hold.
i feel the need to pee.
i go pee.
in midstream he answers.
"what is your service tag number?"
trying to finish ( side rhyme: no matter how much you jump shake or dance, the last two drops always get in your pants).
i tell him the number and try to explain what is going on.
this is when the devil shows his ugly head...
"sir, for us to help you fix this problem you must pay 120 for a one time fix or 200 for a year's help."
"what? i have a warranty."
"sir, that warranty does not cover your software. only the shell."
"what? that is it?"
"yes sir."
"but it is your software that caused me the problem. i bought the problem from you."
"sir, how is it dell's fault? you have been the one using it."
i hang up.
i send a few nasty e-mails.
i get an automatic reply.
the next day i decide to just delete everything and start fresh.
stupid.
i am unable to install everything properly.
i call dell again after sitting in silence wondering if it is worth it.
"please enter your service tag number."
i enter the number.
"thank you."
click.
click?
they hung up on me.
i try this two more times.
each time ends with a click.
i have pissed dell off.
part of me smiles out of pleasure.
the other part curses because my computer still does not work.

never again will i buy a dell computer... NEVER! DO YOU HEAR ME DELL? NEVER AGAIN WILL YOUR CATCHY TUNES AND SLEEK ADDS PULL ME IN!"
now i know why you guys have the lollipop song in your commercial... you suck!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

it's that time of year


this coming weekend is one of my favorite annual events... the WOOLLY WORM FESTIVAL!
i encourage everyone to come in for this wonderful event. it is so wonderful that i am off work this friday. it is so wonderful that i will get to eat festival food even when i am not hungry. it is so wonderful that i am going to see old friends and people i don't even know who know my name.

there is going to be a woolly worm race, a parade, funnel cake, cheap toys, illegal copies of movies, knockoff clothing, and plenty of rednecks to make you feel better about yourself.

please come and enjoy... if you need a place to stay just ask!

Monday, October 05, 2009

the life of riley

this time last year i was meeting my son for the first time. during the nine month wait i was dreading him coming into my world. i just knew that my life was going to change and as much as i like to promote change... i hate it sometimes. thankfully i got over that. now i am in love with my little man and i spend most of my nights praying that he is safe and happy throughout his whole life. the term "life of riley" means the good life. and that is what i am living because of my wonderful son. happy birthday bubby!
video

Sunday, October 04, 2009

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

morning


oh mae, what has happened to thee?
you pulled me into your everglow
but now your music i don't want to know
you released the morning
and i had such great hope
but giving it away
would be a crime
for this time i must say
thy music doth suck
it's like having a drill in your mouth
or a butt that won't cease burning
leaves me in pain and burning with anger
yet, i will still loveth thee
for my heart you stole
with the everglow

Monday, September 28, 2009

christianity (is nothing original anymore)


"Creator Dismisses Criticisms of the New Program Being Called Sordid, Disturbing
LOS ANGELES, CA --- Fed up with the mainstream media's promoting homosexuality among young children, conservative Christians have come up with their own chidren's cartoon hero: Elijah BiblePants. Gay characters, such as SpongeBob Squarepants, Bob The Builder, and Barney, are always cheerful, never lose their temper, and they encourage children to use their "imagination". Not so Elijah BiblePants! Creator Chad Jackson says Elijah is dour, angry, and "strictly literalist".

Jackson, whose Biblical comic tracts promising eternal damnation can be found in laundrymats and subway cars, says his new cartoon character may somewhat resemble SpongeBob -- but that's only as far as looks are concerned.

"I promise you, there is nothing gay or otherwise filthy about Elijah BiblePants," he said. "Elijah is not happy, and he is not friendly! Because when it's a matter of everlasting Hellfire, you've got nothing to be friendly about."

Elijah BiblePants is inspired by Second Kings 2:23-24. In that passage, the prophet Elijah invokes the Lord and curses a throng of children who have teased him because of his baldness. As a result, a group of enraged bears charges out of the woods, tearing to pieces forty-two of the insolent brats.

The hero of this new Christian cartoon series delivers moving Hellfire and brimstone sermons. He also organizes book burnings and public stonings of homosexuals, adulterers, and heretics.

But mainstream media have shied away from airing the program.

"Elijah BiblePants is a sordid orgy of violence and hatred," one network executive said, pale and visibly shaken. "Certainly not appropriate for kids. Some of the things I saw on that tape ... I don't think I will ever get them out of my head."

Jackson admits that his uncompromising children's cartoon has been a tough sell even among Christian broadcasters.

Said Sherman Marcus, CEO of The JesusChannelNetwork, "When we choose programming for young kids, say, ages 2-11, we look for stuff that is more along the lines of, say, Veggie Tales. You know good, healthy food teaching good, healthy lessons about, say, Christian values. While we do acknowledge that homosexuality is sinful, we don't think that graphic depictions of violence against, say, homosexuals are something that children ought to be exposed to."

Jackson disagrees.

"Yeah, I'm sure Veggie Tales stands a chance of competing with shows like Barney and South Park," he said, smirking." -associatedcontent.com

this is what is wrong with Christianity today. do i need to post the "white man" video again?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

R is for Riley or Robin



i ordered riley's costume for Halloween.
i was really excited to find my favorite hero's costume for my favorite son...
i am determined to make my son the great man that i am.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

my father-in-law steve, the great teacher


i have learned a lot from my father-in-law.

as a teen he taught me a lot about God and how to work paddle boats.

as a young adult he showed me how to change my oil.

even how to put up with the worst in people.

these things have stuck with me. he has always been a good example...

BUT

one thing he never taught me was how to dress...

thank you steve for everything you did and did not teach me.
(this is not an actual photo of steve, but trust me... he owns the outfit).

Monday, September 21, 2009

a fun fact i have learned from danny


danny: "your haircut looks the best five days after."

that is why i always cut my hair five days before a big event... thank you danny. your wisdom will take me far.

Friday, September 18, 2009

beard no more

a week or two ago i wrote a blog about how i was going to grow a beard... well that lasted a week.

i got beyond the itchy phase.

i got beyond the awkward look of it.

i just wasn't able to get past my wife hating the feel of it. apparently it hurts when you kiss someone with a beard. so, being the good husband that i am, i shaved.
and lets be honest... i looked like a bum with the beard. not the greatest look for an old man like me.

so... i am going to stick to the scruffy look.

things here have been kind of slow. nothing really major to talk about.

sigh... the life of a normal man...

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

the beard challenge

i have discovered a website all about beards...beards.org.
i must admit at first i was making fun of the success stories, but something clicked... what if a beard made me a richer man?
therefore i am going to grow a beard and become a better man.

weekly i am going to blog about this (i hope to at least).
to be honest the beard is itching me to death, but to become a man, you must endure hard times...

so join me my brothers (and some sisters) and grow a beard with me!


title="Visit beards.org!" alt="Visit beards.org!" width="400" height="80" />

Monday, August 31, 2009

learning to love the town whore

since i was in middle school i have heard, made jokes, and laughed at our town whore. i should have known better. i was always taught to love. to look beyond the outward appearance and see their heart, yet it never stopped me from saying words to make people laugh at her expense.

the town whore ( i will call her freckles) is a short woman who is mentally slow. she is poor and is preyed upon by older men in the community. she is often seen walking the sidewalks with a cigarette in her mouth and wearing a blue jacket with cutoff shorts.

she has had several children (whom were all taken away from her). she is the only woman i have known in our town to be "fixed" by court order.

needles to say, she has seen and felt pain that i will never know.

a few years ago the women at our church were making gifts for people in the community. they were to pick someone and give them the gift. my lovely wife angie has a soft and honest heart. she had also heard the jokes about freckles and decided to giver her gift as an outreach to her.

she wrestled with the notion. always feeling nervous and afraid. it is never easy to approch someone that you don't even know with a gift... let a lone someone who has been the butt of jokes for many years.

this didn't stop ang from reaching out.

that was the first time it hit me.

freckles needs love too.

i made great effort to stop making fun of her. to pray for her.

a few months ago i actually had a conversation with freckles. she had been harassed by a man in town and wanted to know what she could do about it. i told her legal options and went on my way. little did i know that short conversation would cause her to trust me.

every time i see her now she speaks to me. we have a few short sentences and then she is on her way. each time we talk i see a little bit more of her heart and her broken life.

the way she has been used over the years has had to cause many scars and trust issues. to have her children taken and to never truly know them must be pain beyond belief.

once upon a time i would pass by her and laugh. wonder how could anyone love her? how could anyone sleep with her? how could she not know she was the town's joke?
but all of that has changed. now i see a soul in search of love and one that needs to be loved.
i see my heart loving her. loving her the way i was meant to. to look beyond the mess and dirty old men she fills her time with.

it's the way i want to be loved. beyond my failings and faults.

Friday, August 28, 2009

my problem with ms.pac-man


here lately i have been playing a lot of ms.pac-man between court files at work. i have enjoyed mastering the skill of dodging ghosts and eating fruit. though stuck on level 30, i still find joy in playing the game.
but something this morning caught my attention.
between certain levels there is a little title.
they meet.
the chase.
junior (which appears more than once).

this started to sink in.
ms.pac-man supports premarital sex and naming numerous babies the same name.

as i parent i am appalled by the teachings of this video game. what has our world come to?

so from here on out i am no longer going to play ms.pac-man... i am boycotting this evil sexual driven game!

who is with me?

Monday, August 24, 2009

no toys allowed (unless mommy say so)


friday night ang, riley, and i headed to lexington. we figured (i mean... i figured) i would pick up my comics and find a few things for riley.

while in target i thought i would see if i could find riley a table for him to play on. once i entered the toy section he started going crazy. crying really loud. so i handed him a little laptop for babies. he was quiet as he played.
ang and i both know how much he likes to play with my laptop, so i figured i would buy it for him.

i found ang in the food section and showed her my great find. i puffed my chest out with pride and smiled for how well i knew my son's needs.

she told me to put it back.

her reasoning was "we don't need to buy him things he will only play with a few times."

so i took it back.

it broke my heart to know that he would not be leaving with something... so i picked up a little stuffed toy.

she told me to take that back (she claims she is not that bad of a nag...).

our next stop was babies r us.
we found some nice clothes and some cute little shoes.

while ang was looking for some more clothes, i thought i would take him to look at the toys.

yelling, and crying followed...

i tried my hardest to keep him happy, but he wants what he wants.

ang came and offered to take over while i looked at some clothes for him.
the next thing i know i see her walking towards me carrying the same laptop i wanted to get him.

"should we get this for him?"

what?

needless to say... he has a laptop now.

angie admits that it was my idea, but i know now how it works...

mommy has to say it is "ok" before riley can have any fun...

that's ok... i plan on making sure he loves cartoons more than math. that will teach her.

Friday, August 14, 2009

the aftermath



the aftermath

Thursday, August 13, 2009

fire in beattyville



jack's iga, rose brothers, and the beattyville enterprise is no more. sad day... it was heart breaking to see the owners and workers watching the fire. my poor little town.
thankfully no one was hurt.

Monday, August 10, 2009

the genius next door

i am in love with this song. i have no clue what it is talking about, but it is awesome.

regina spektor: genius next door

Some said the local lake had been enchanted
Others said it must have been the weather
The neighbors were trying to keep it quiet
But I swear that I could hear the laughter
So they joke, and they nicknamed it "the porridge"
Cause over night that lake had turned as thick as butter

But the local kids would still go swimming, drinking
Saying that to them it doesn't matter

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you've thought it through
You fool

The genius next door was bussing tables
Wiping clean the keptchup bottle labels
Getting high and mumbling German fables
Didn't care as long as he was able
To strip his clothes off by the dumpsters
At night while every one was sleeping
And wade midway into that porridge
Just him and the secret he was keeping

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You foolish child

In the morning the film crews start arriving
With donuts, coffee and reporters
The kids were waking up, hung over
The neighbors were starting up their cars
The garbageman were emptying the dumpsters
Atheists were praying full of sarcasm
And the genius next door was sleeping
Dreaming that the antidote is orgasm

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You foolish child

a new way of life

soon i will be turning 31... ugh... oh how i hate to get older. many of you know i am not a fan of becoming an old man, but i think i have found a way i can stop from feeling my age.

this past weekend i realized how much weight i have actually gained (i am not going to say the amount). i am no where near the heaviest weight i have been in the past, but i am on a fast track there.

i believe it all started when i stopped taking adderall (thanks james!). my body no longer had the artificial speed to keep the weight down. sure i am a lot happier of a person and i am not getting moody after 10 p.m. ,but i miss being skinnier. sure i still fit into my 33 size pants, but i can feel them getting tighter everyday.

so this morning i started my new weight loss plan...
i am going to vomit and take laxatives.

not really.

i am just eating better and working out a lot more.

that is how i plan to feel younger. i want to be able to take my shirt off when i mow. i want to be able to wear my superhero t-shirts without my belly button eating the shirt. i want to sit down and not feel my man boobs resting on my gut (ok.. that hasn't happened yet, but trust me it is coming!).

so i figured i may start blogging about my progress... may even put a few pics up... ehh.. better not.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

just push the knife deeper...



it is no secret that i am a comic book nerd. i enjoy watching cartoons... who cares?
while surfing the net at work i discovered a quote from one of the creators of my favorite cartoon "batman: brave and the bold".

James Taylor quipped "Batman goes further than 1989." He also described the show as being intended for "Nerd dads and their kids."

nerd dads? oh how that hurts.

i guess i will still watch the show, but i will be pumping iron and punching bunnies while watching it!

nerd... phhhh...please... would a nerd leave a comic book out of it's protective cover? i think not!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

"i am somebody"

i have said this a few times, " i miss working at camp", but last night really made me miss it.
this is the last week of camp and to top it all off it is sunshine camp (mental and physically handicap). my favorite camp. it can be hard and trying, but there is nothing better than taking care of someone else who loves you without any thought.
the campers believe like Jesus told us to believe - child like faith.
they are so honest and they really do care about the people around them.

i miss seeing and feeling that.

thankfully angie is playing the piano for chapel and i tag along. i get to sit in chapel and listen to them sing "i'll fly away" and the "butterfly song". they clap and dance (something that i have never felt free enough to do) as the music fills the air.

i sat there taking it all in. then they started singing a new song.

"i am somebody, because God loves me, i am accepted just the way that i am."

not to get mushy, but i almost started to cry. it was beautiful. most of them couldn't even sing it, but it still sounded so perfect.

too many times we forget that we are accepted just the way we are. we try to form ourselves into something we will never be.

there was a time that i did this. i tried my hardest to be the perfect little christian solider. i packed my Bible under my armpit (which i doubt God liked too much), i listened to only christian music, and i learned to put down other people around me. for some reason i thought that is how God wanted me to act, but i was way off.

last night i think i realized that i am the handicapped person.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

google finaly gets it


DC comics is way better than marvel...

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

not a fan

a few weeks ago someone asked me why i was not a fan of southland.
hmmm...
so today why i was going through some old posts, i discovered something that reminded me why i need to learn to let go of childish things... so i am going to re post something from 2006.

7 years ago i finished my college. college life was hard. not cause of the work, but because of the school i attended. it was a very legalistic school. i was not a model student of southland. i listened to christian music with a drum beat. i went to a public high school. i went to dances. i didn't part my hair. i also loved sinners. i made it through, but there were a lot of emotional scars left. it took years for me to even go back there to visit. i would never tell someone to look at the school, but it did have a special place in my heart.
yesterday the school sent out a news letter. it talked about the former students who have went on to server God in the ministry. there were a lot of names. ones that i had went to school with. there were even some of my co-workers. yet i didn't see my name. i am in the full time ministry. it didn't really bother me at first, but the more people talked it hurt.
i saw one of my teachers at a funeral (odd place to see them). a friend brought up the article. the teacher looked at me and said "oh please, did you really think that they would put you on that list? "
i was shocked.
"think of your attitude."
my attitude? is free thinking a sin?
i couldn't believe this. i was cut from the list because i did not buy into the fake salvation that they teach. i didn't believe their truths. the laws that they believed would make them stronger.
i am hurt, but i am free. one way i believe to truly become free would be to burn this bridge. i have no need for this college nor the people there. i just pray that i never become the christian to cause pain.


i can see how my words could hurt the people i speak about. i believe that God wants me to continue letting go of the past, but remember His will is more important than a person grading me on how i dress or putting me in a newsletter.

i think that is the problem with ministry some times. we try too hard to please the people around us and not God.

bosco and bloody pavement

about six months ago i rescued a dog from the courthouse steps. he was a cute little mutt. he was only a puppy (his boys hadn't dropped yet) and was very happy to please his new found friend.
after the death of wondergirl i never thought i would have another dog, but bosco soon found a place in my heart. he is an overly friendly puppy and stays close to home (unless the neighbor's dog cookie comes over to lure him to the other side of the hill). so i was surprised when i received a phone call from my neighbor at the end of the road telling me she heard a gun shot and a dog scream.
angie and i first figured it was some other dog. bosco doesn't bark or growl at anyone. not even at other dogs. so why would anyone shoot him? i stepped outside to see if my neighbor's fears were correct. i looked down and saw bosco slowly walking towards me. his little body was in pain. he was whimpering and i could smell the blood. i reached down and he just fell into my arms. part of me wanted to find the person who shot him, but i knew the most important thing was to stay by his side.
i washed his wounds and bandaged him as good as i could. he just laid there. i was afraid i was going to lose another pet, but thankfully it only broke the skin (in several places. bird shot. ugh)and the vet gave him some pain killers and antibiotics.
now i find myself spending a little more time with bosco in the evenings. rubbing his belly and trying to warn him about stupid people with guns.
the only problem is, now i want to find the idiot who shot him. i have a few guesses to who this person or people could be (with their tobacco filled cheeks), but i feel like i should just let it go. what would i do if i caught them? give them a stern talking to? make them apologize to bosco?
i just hope they realize that my family no longer feels safe walking on our road at night.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

"a must read blog"


"a must read blog for all of the dorks out there!" -Tyler Phillips
"my husband wears women's clothing, but dang he loves this blog." -Donna Phillips

(the last wedding i will have to perform this summer).

what has happened to me?

i pride myself for being a big kid. i feel honored when my little cousins ask me about cartoons. what i write next will make the strongest heart feel weak. you are about to witness a man break down and admit that he is maturing.

i spent 3 hours on tuesday night watching the history channel (i didn't even know we had it). i watch with great wonder until i drifted off to sleep on the couch (like an old man). i woke up at the end of the program with angie wondering why i was watching such a grown up channel. i had no words.

last night i purchased a weed eater (big deal you may think, but it gets worse). the problem with the weed eater is that it's electric (Boogie woogie, woogie). most old women own such things... cars passing by stopped and stared as i pulled the extension cord behind me. i felt like i should have been wearing a flowered print shirt with white gloves.

so tonight i am reclaiming my youth. i am going to watch 3 hours of cartoons and pull the weeds up by hand. i may even pull out some old he-man toys and play with them in front of the tv. who knows....

Thursday, July 02, 2009

too many t-shirts

i am not the best at clothes shopping. i will buy something and think it looks good at the store, but get home and discover that it was the worst purchase ever. my wife accuses me of never looking at the price and just buying. one of her biggest annoyances is all of the t-shirts i have. i claim that all of them are not public viewing t-shirts due to the fact they fit funny (i am made funny. i have big shoulders and a small frame. i am kind of built like a penguin).
yet last night i bought another t-shirt. it is a cool looking batman tee that fits perfectly over this round body. i was happy with my purchase and i figured my wife would be as well.
i was wrong.
she first accused me of already having the shirt and when i proved her wrong, she began counting my shirts. i tried to defend myself, but there is no way to satisfy angie when she thinks she is right.
so my goal for the next month is to avoid buying t-shirts.i will just start wearing the ones that show off my man boobs and the short ones to show off my bum...
that will teach her and everyone else around me!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

oh the summer

i like to pride myself in being one who can handle change, but the truth is--- some change bothers me.
this will be hard for me to admit, but i miss my summers at camp.
camp was always a time for me to get away from the rest of the world and look out for the youth that surround us. to just have fun and not worry about paper work and such.
yet that is no longer a part of my life. i no longer get to spend my afternoons sitting by the pool life guarding (i miss having a tan. i am so white), or listening to kids talk about their lives with a camp fire roaring in front of them.
don't get me wrong. i love my job, but camp was part of my childhood. i just can't wait til riley starts going to camp so i can live through him.

the bright side is... i don't miss camp food.

Friday, June 26, 2009

i love this art



joshboston.com

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

angie's great grandfather and danny's talent for writing


my brother-in-law wrote this note on facebook after finding out his great grandfather had passed away.

"My great-grandpa died in his chair today.

My grandma asked him if he wanted a cup of coffee this morning and he said yes, but he didn’t live long enough to drink it. I think he was ninety-six.

He was a quiet man most of the time I knew him, but certain subjects would get him pretty animated. When he got started on a tangent he was hilarious. I only wish I could have been on the phone the time he got the call from the city saying he had to paint his shutters or something like that. He called my uncle in a rage cussing and complaining about the Ferguson Gestapo.

He liked to tell us about how poor he was as a child. So poor, he said, that he wasn’t allowed to shoot a rabbit for dinner unless there were two lined up and he could kill them both with a single shot. So poor, he said, that his excuse for being late to school was that he was last in line to use the toothbrush.

I was probably 10 or 11 when a few of us sat on his back porch eating popsicles. He told us to just make sure we didn’t eat the sticks. “One time,” he announced, “I ate a bunch of popsicle sticks and pooped a two-by-four!”

Great-grandma: “Pa!”

Great-grandpa: “Well it’s true!”

His house was heat, an uncomfortable couch, a magnifying glass on the newspaper, underwear in the recliner, and Wheel of Fortune turned up to 11. He was married to my great-grandma forever as far as I’m concerned.

When we’d visit for Christmas he’d play Silent Night on the harmonica. Other times he’d disappear into his room and come out and entertain us with an accordion he found in a barn as a teenager.

His and my great-grandma’s house was notorious among the cousins for having a candy bowl on every table. When we finished a Starburst and took him the wrapper he’d fold it into a little boat. As we got older (or smarter, or both) he taught all of us how to make one for ourselves. When I think of my great-grandpa I always think of Starbursts, and when I see Starbursts I always think of my great-grandpa. I still make a boat every time I eat a Starburst.

He had a mean streak that I never saw. He has pictures that show him as strong. He was a good man, and now he’s gone."


you will be missed. if only we all could live a life like yours.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

facebook polls, bat's in the courtroom, and why i need to keep my mouth shut

facebook:
i am really getting sick of people posting their opinions on facebook polls.
wait.
let me rephrase that.
i do no like when christians have to force their views on facebook with a poll.
the most recent poll to annoy me is the "same sex marriage" poll.
why post that? we already know you are against it.
do we have a poll for people against adultery, gluttony, laziness, pride, should i keep on going? because if you want i will make a poll to cover every sin that all of God's children (including myself) commits.
it seems to me that it is easier for us to point the finger when we are not willing to admit that our own gut is a sin.

bat in the courtroom:
during court a bat started flying around. it was funny watching all of these tough guys run out of the courtroom because they are afraid.

why i need to keep my mouth shut:
this does not need to be explained.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

4 years of putting up with me




tomorrow will be angie's and my anniversary. it doesn't feel like it has been 4 years since we got married, but i hear that is a good thing.
i have been blessed to have a perfect wife. she puts up with my comic books, annoying music, leaving my underwear on the floor, my depressing moments, me talking about movies she could care less about, and my spending habits.
what can i say... she got a winner.
i figured i would post a few pictures. the first one is when we were engaged. the next one as you can tell is our wedding day. the last was taken on easter.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

once again with the comic pics



i really can't help myself. some of these pictures are just too funny.
one warns us about the dangers of going to the creation museum.