Monday, August 27, 2007

i have failed you.

i know i promised to have a blog up about my prom life, but real life seems to have caught up with me. don't get me wrong. i have not been overly busy... i just feel lazy. it's easy for some to sit down and vomit a blog, but not me. i must think and dwell upon the subject. i must search my heart and see if the truth of the matter is really there.
i also have a roid. i know this isn't neither the time nor the place to talk about such personal things, but i really don't care at this moment. i am in pain and i want to make it go away. i should post a pic, but i will not. it is far to disturbing.
through my research on the internet i have discovered that this roid comes from me reading several comic books in one sitting (no i didn't leave the h out). also from my true love of meat (makes your poo thick and hard). two things that i love, but i must give up until my pain leaves me.
oh wait. what is this? you are never really freed from roids? you have to have them cut out? oh my gosh. how do you ask off of work for that?
me " i have to take a few sick days for a surgery."
boss " really? what kind of surgery."
me "oh it's nothing major."
boss "okay, but what is it for? i haven't noticed you sick."
me "it's kind of personal."
boss "it maybe, but i think as your boss i need to know these things."
me "ummm... ok.. i am having surgery on my butt."
boss "to actually have one? i mean. you have lived you whole life without having a butt. surely you can manage?"
me "what? you don't think i have a butt?"
boss "no you don't. it's like nothing is there?"
me "that really hurts."
boss "truth is truth."
do you see where this could lead. maybe i should try the all natural stuff. oh wait... you have to give up meat forever and use only all natural soap, shampoo, and tooth paste.. screw that..
oh... i can let my doctor stick his finger..WHERE? and push it back in WHAT..?
i think i am going to learn to live with the pain..
so.. you see.. this is why i am unable to blog. lazy and i have a pain. i just don't feel like sitting down and writing. get over it.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

coming soon! PROM

many have been asking for it.. so now i am going to give it. just not today. i am too busy at work, but i promise soon...i will tell the story of "the proms". most have been to 2 and some 3.. i am up to 9 and it is growing. i will even have pics of my different proms. so please prepare yourself for the prom king (i really was the prom king my senior year. most of the time the handicapped people get it at our school, but alas... i beat him out of it. not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing).

Thursday, August 09, 2007

too many stories...so little time to tell them all

i know that it has been a while since i have placed my words and thoughts on the web to be viewed by the two people who read my blog. so as i sit in my office at work- i try to think of ways to tell the stories of the past couple of weeks. better yet- what should i leave out?... i could tell you about the most manly night i have ever had or pawl's (the man of honor) night before his best friend's wedding. there are so many other things floating around inside my head it is hard for me to latch on to even one of them. this could be due to the fact that i am out of adderall. i go today to get some more of my life giving drug this afternoon, but in this moment how can i possibly write out what you want to hear? should i just wait? should i just lay my head down and cry? NO! i will write as one who has not allowed their mind to be altered and force the words from my mind to my hands for the one's who demand more of my attention. this is for you baby (not really calling anyone baby.. just a term. so please don't think i am talking to you)!

let me begin with "the night of the manly men". it started on friday afternoon. my friend matt sevinsky(a very manly man with a thick neck. football player and all around stud according to the young girls that work with him at camp) and i (not very manly, but somewhat manly. sure i can spit, but it normally stays on my chin. i can however shoot a gun without blinking) were going into the big city of lexington. we had no clue what we were going to do, but we were going. normally when you ride in my car with me i control the music, but in my heart i felt like i should allow matt to take control. he was a visitor and he was leaving the next day to return to VA. he plugs his i-pod into the stereo and what do i hear? 80's music. ok.. i am not a huge fan, but for some reason it grew on me, but what is this? is he dancing? yes he is. i am not sure if it was because i was tired or if i was just amazed, but i found myself laughing as he danced. it wasn't very manly, but it was funny. on arriving in lexington i decided to get my comic books (another one of my manly features). during this time i noticed we had something in common. we enjoyed making fun of people. so between the dancing and multiple stops, we made fun of a handful of people that make life difficult. it was fun. we returned home early so matt could sing show tunes with my wife angie (odd i know. manly? i still don't think so). after a few songs we sat down to watch some good movies. cocktail and the bodyguard (yeah.. not very manly either, but they were funny to us). i finally went to bed around 6:45 after waking matt up on the toilet. not sure how one falls asleep on the toilet, but all things are possible.
i write all of this to say. i love the "dancing queen". if matt can dance and act like a complete fool and still be manly.. i can admit i love that song and also be just as manly.. can't i?

i admit. a lot of this story was edited for time sake. i am not sure when this AOC man is coming to talk to me about the computer i use in the courtroom... that is the only reason i edited it.. promise.

now on to part 2 of the man of honor:

we have all heard the stories of the maid of honor sleeping with the groom the night before the wedding. we have witnessed the shock as the truth is poured onto the ground like a nice cold bottle of zima (girl's drink).. everyone is disgusted and left wondering why?

well, my dear sweet brother in-law pawl fail to this great temptation, but with a twist.

his friend courtney was getting married and he was her "man of honor". she loves pawl and trusts him with everything with in her. she wanted him by her side on the day she gave her heart, life, free will , and bank account away. pawl stands beside her smiling, but what is this? the groom is looking at pawl, but why? i will tell you why. because the night before he shared a bed with him. that is right. the man of honor slept with the groom the night before. pawl claims nothing happened. that he went to bed and woke up with the groom.

"nothing happened." he says as if trying to convince himself and those listening.
oh pawl. how much i want to believe you. really i do, but these past couple of days i have realized you are not the man i thought you once were.
i know nothing happened with you and the groom, but i just don't feel the connection we used to have. remember when we used to copy our faces in sunday school? the times we would laugh at the pain of others (oh wait...we still do that). or how about the time we were playing that board game....what were the words you said? "come on ----oh.. i can't remember!
yeah.. this is a blog not on adderall... go ahead and say it sucks.. i don't care....