a few weeks ago someone asked me why i was not a fan of southland.
so today why i was going through some old posts, i discovered something that reminded me why i need to learn to let go of childish things... so i am going to re post something from 2006.
7 years ago i finished my college. college life was hard. not cause of the work, but because of the school i attended. it was a very legalistic school. i was not a model student of southland. i listened to christian music with a drum beat. i went to a public high school. i went to dances. i didn't part my hair. i also loved sinners. i made it through, but there were a lot of emotional scars left. it took years for me to even go back there to visit. i would never tell someone to look at the school, but it did have a special place in my heart.
yesterday the school sent out a news letter. it talked about the former students who have went on to server God in the ministry. there were a lot of names. ones that i had went to school with. there were even some of my co-workers. yet i didn't see my name. i am in the full time ministry. it didn't really bother me at first, but the more people talked it hurt.
i saw one of my teachers at a funeral (odd place to see them). a friend brought up the article. the teacher looked at me and said "oh please, did you really think that they would put you on that list? "
i was shocked.
"think of your attitude."
my attitude? is free thinking a sin?
i couldn't believe this. i was cut from the list because i did not buy into the fake salvation that they teach. i didn't believe their truths. the laws that they believed would make them stronger.
i am hurt, but i am free. one way i believe to truly become free would be to burn this bridge. i have no need for this college nor the people there. i just pray that i never become the christian to cause pain.
i can see how my words could hurt the people i speak about. i believe that God wants me to continue letting go of the past, but remember His will is more important than a person grading me on how i dress or putting me in a newsletter.
i think that is the problem with ministry some times. we try too hard to please the people around us and not God.