Monday, August 31, 2009

learning to love the town whore

since i was in middle school i have heard, made jokes, and laughed at our town whore. i should have known better. i was always taught to love. to look beyond the outward appearance and see their heart, yet it never stopped me from saying words to make people laugh at her expense.

the town whore ( i will call her freckles) is a short woman who is mentally slow. she is poor and is preyed upon by older men in the community. she is often seen walking the sidewalks with a cigarette in her mouth and wearing a blue jacket with cutoff shorts.

she has had several children (whom were all taken away from her). she is the only woman i have known in our town to be "fixed" by court order.

needles to say, she has seen and felt pain that i will never know.

a few years ago the women at our church were making gifts for people in the community. they were to pick someone and give them the gift. my lovely wife angie has a soft and honest heart. she had also heard the jokes about freckles and decided to giver her gift as an outreach to her.

she wrestled with the notion. always feeling nervous and afraid. it is never easy to approch someone that you don't even know with a gift... let a lone someone who has been the butt of jokes for many years.

this didn't stop ang from reaching out.

that was the first time it hit me.

freckles needs love too.

i made great effort to stop making fun of her. to pray for her.

a few months ago i actually had a conversation with freckles. she had been harassed by a man in town and wanted to know what she could do about it. i told her legal options and went on my way. little did i know that short conversation would cause her to trust me.

every time i see her now she speaks to me. we have a few short sentences and then she is on her way. each time we talk i see a little bit more of her heart and her broken life.

the way she has been used over the years has had to cause many scars and trust issues. to have her children taken and to never truly know them must be pain beyond belief.

once upon a time i would pass by her and laugh. wonder how could anyone love her? how could anyone sleep with her? how could she not know she was the town's joke?
but all of that has changed. now i see a soul in search of love and one that needs to be loved.
i see my heart loving her. loving her the way i was meant to. to look beyond the mess and dirty old men she fills her time with.

it's the way i want to be loved. beyond my failings and faults.

Friday, August 28, 2009

my problem with ms.pac-man

here lately i have been playing a lot of ms.pac-man between court files at work. i have enjoyed mastering the skill of dodging ghosts and eating fruit. though stuck on level 30, i still find joy in playing the game.
but something this morning caught my attention.
between certain levels there is a little title.
they meet.
the chase.
junior (which appears more than once).

this started to sink in.
ms.pac-man supports premarital sex and naming numerous babies the same name.

as i parent i am appalled by the teachings of this video game. what has our world come to?

so from here on out i am no longer going to play ms.pac-man... i am boycotting this evil sexual driven game!

who is with me?

Monday, August 24, 2009

no toys allowed (unless mommy say so)

friday night ang, riley, and i headed to lexington. we figured (i mean... i figured) i would pick up my comics and find a few things for riley.

while in target i thought i would see if i could find riley a table for him to play on. once i entered the toy section he started going crazy. crying really loud. so i handed him a little laptop for babies. he was quiet as he played.
ang and i both know how much he likes to play with my laptop, so i figured i would buy it for him.

i found ang in the food section and showed her my great find. i puffed my chest out with pride and smiled for how well i knew my son's needs.

she told me to put it back.

her reasoning was "we don't need to buy him things he will only play with a few times."

so i took it back.

it broke my heart to know that he would not be leaving with something... so i picked up a little stuffed toy.

she told me to take that back (she claims she is not that bad of a nag...).

our next stop was babies r us.
we found some nice clothes and some cute little shoes.

while ang was looking for some more clothes, i thought i would take him to look at the toys.

yelling, and crying followed...

i tried my hardest to keep him happy, but he wants what he wants.

ang came and offered to take over while i looked at some clothes for him.
the next thing i know i see her walking towards me carrying the same laptop i wanted to get him.

"should we get this for him?"


needless to say... he has a laptop now.

angie admits that it was my idea, but i know now how it works...

mommy has to say it is "ok" before riley can have any fun...

that's ok... i plan on making sure he loves cartoons more than math. that will teach her.

Friday, August 14, 2009

the aftermath

the aftermath

Thursday, August 13, 2009

fire in beattyville

jack's iga, rose brothers, and the beattyville enterprise is no more. sad day... it was heart breaking to see the owners and workers watching the fire. my poor little town.
thankfully no one was hurt.

Monday, August 10, 2009

the genius next door

i am in love with this song. i have no clue what it is talking about, but it is awesome.

regina spektor: genius next door

Some said the local lake had been enchanted
Others said it must have been the weather
The neighbors were trying to keep it quiet
But I swear that I could hear the laughter
So they joke, and they nicknamed it "the porridge"
Cause over night that lake had turned as thick as butter

But the local kids would still go swimming, drinking
Saying that to them it doesn't matter

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you've thought it through
You fool

The genius next door was bussing tables
Wiping clean the keptchup bottle labels
Getting high and mumbling German fables
Didn't care as long as he was able
To strip his clothes off by the dumpsters
At night while every one was sleeping
And wade midway into that porridge
Just him and the secret he was keeping

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You foolish child

In the morning the film crews start arriving
With donuts, coffee and reporters
The kids were waking up, hung over
The neighbors were starting up their cars
The garbageman were emptying the dumpsters
Atheists were praying full of sarcasm
And the genius next door was sleeping
Dreaming that the antidote is orgasm

If you just hold in your breath
'Til you come back up in full
Hold in your breath
'Til you thought it through
You foolish child

a new way of life

soon i will be turning 31... ugh... oh how i hate to get older. many of you know i am not a fan of becoming an old man, but i think i have found a way i can stop from feeling my age.

this past weekend i realized how much weight i have actually gained (i am not going to say the amount). i am no where near the heaviest weight i have been in the past, but i am on a fast track there.

i believe it all started when i stopped taking adderall (thanks james!). my body no longer had the artificial speed to keep the weight down. sure i am a lot happier of a person and i am not getting moody after 10 p.m. ,but i miss being skinnier. sure i still fit into my 33 size pants, but i can feel them getting tighter everyday.

so this morning i started my new weight loss plan...
i am going to vomit and take laxatives.

not really.

i am just eating better and working out a lot more.

that is how i plan to feel younger. i want to be able to take my shirt off when i mow. i want to be able to wear my superhero t-shirts without my belly button eating the shirt. i want to sit down and not feel my man boobs resting on my gut (ok.. that hasn't happened yet, but trust me it is coming!).

so i figured i may start blogging about my progress... may even put a few pics up... ehh.. better not.