Wednesday, September 30, 2009

morning


oh mae, what has happened to thee?
you pulled me into your everglow
but now your music i don't want to know
you released the morning
and i had such great hope
but giving it away
would be a crime
for this time i must say
thy music doth suck
it's like having a drill in your mouth
or a butt that won't cease burning
leaves me in pain and burning with anger
yet, i will still loveth thee
for my heart you stole
with the everglow

Monday, September 28, 2009

christianity (is nothing original anymore)


"Creator Dismisses Criticisms of the New Program Being Called Sordid, Disturbing
LOS ANGELES, CA --- Fed up with the mainstream media's promoting homosexuality among young children, conservative Christians have come up with their own chidren's cartoon hero: Elijah BiblePants. Gay characters, such as SpongeBob Squarepants, Bob The Builder, and Barney, are always cheerful, never lose their temper, and they encourage children to use their "imagination". Not so Elijah BiblePants! Creator Chad Jackson says Elijah is dour, angry, and "strictly literalist".

Jackson, whose Biblical comic tracts promising eternal damnation can be found in laundrymats and subway cars, says his new cartoon character may somewhat resemble SpongeBob -- but that's only as far as looks are concerned.

"I promise you, there is nothing gay or otherwise filthy about Elijah BiblePants," he said. "Elijah is not happy, and he is not friendly! Because when it's a matter of everlasting Hellfire, you've got nothing to be friendly about."

Elijah BiblePants is inspired by Second Kings 2:23-24. In that passage, the prophet Elijah invokes the Lord and curses a throng of children who have teased him because of his baldness. As a result, a group of enraged bears charges out of the woods, tearing to pieces forty-two of the insolent brats.

The hero of this new Christian cartoon series delivers moving Hellfire and brimstone sermons. He also organizes book burnings and public stonings of homosexuals, adulterers, and heretics.

But mainstream media have shied away from airing the program.

"Elijah BiblePants is a sordid orgy of violence and hatred," one network executive said, pale and visibly shaken. "Certainly not appropriate for kids. Some of the things I saw on that tape ... I don't think I will ever get them out of my head."

Jackson admits that his uncompromising children's cartoon has been a tough sell even among Christian broadcasters.

Said Sherman Marcus, CEO of The JesusChannelNetwork, "When we choose programming for young kids, say, ages 2-11, we look for stuff that is more along the lines of, say, Veggie Tales. You know good, healthy food teaching good, healthy lessons about, say, Christian values. While we do acknowledge that homosexuality is sinful, we don't think that graphic depictions of violence against, say, homosexuals are something that children ought to be exposed to."

Jackson disagrees.

"Yeah, I'm sure Veggie Tales stands a chance of competing with shows like Barney and South Park," he said, smirking." -associatedcontent.com

this is what is wrong with Christianity today. do i need to post the "white man" video again?

Thursday, September 24, 2009

R is for Riley or Robin



i ordered riley's costume for Halloween.
i was really excited to find my favorite hero's costume for my favorite son...
i am determined to make my son the great man that i am.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

my father-in-law steve, the great teacher


i have learned a lot from my father-in-law.

as a teen he taught me a lot about God and how to work paddle boats.

as a young adult he showed me how to change my oil.

even how to put up with the worst in people.

these things have stuck with me. he has always been a good example...

BUT

one thing he never taught me was how to dress...

thank you steve for everything you did and did not teach me.
(this is not an actual photo of steve, but trust me... he owns the outfit).

Monday, September 21, 2009

a fun fact i have learned from danny


danny: "your haircut looks the best five days after."

that is why i always cut my hair five days before a big event... thank you danny. your wisdom will take me far.

Friday, September 18, 2009

beard no more

a week or two ago i wrote a blog about how i was going to grow a beard... well that lasted a week.

i got beyond the itchy phase.

i got beyond the awkward look of it.

i just wasn't able to get past my wife hating the feel of it. apparently it hurts when you kiss someone with a beard. so, being the good husband that i am, i shaved.
and lets be honest... i looked like a bum with the beard. not the greatest look for an old man like me.

so... i am going to stick to the scruffy look.

things here have been kind of slow. nothing really major to talk about.

sigh... the life of a normal man...

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

the beard challenge

i have discovered a website all about beards...beards.org.
i must admit at first i was making fun of the success stories, but something clicked... what if a beard made me a richer man?
therefore i am going to grow a beard and become a better man.

weekly i am going to blog about this (i hope to at least).
to be honest the beard is itching me to death, but to become a man, you must endure hard times...

so join me my brothers (and some sisters) and grow a beard with me!


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