but i may be.
i have been slow with blogging the past couple of months and i really have nothing exciting to write about. since i have become a father i live a fairly normal life. routine days i crave. throw anything out of the ordinary at me and i may get a little overwhelmed... or just a little whelmed (robin from young justice).
but that does not mean my thoughts are routine. i find myself thinking about the most random things.
as i sit here and write this i am thinking about my Bible college days. like the time i urinated in a guys tackle box because he set off a stink bomb in my closet. how some of us would "sneak" and watch buffy the vampire slayer after Bible study or the times i would sit on top of this hill and pray for understanding. it always bothered me that i never felt like i fit in with the rest of the students.
insecurity is a large part of my thought process.
i am insecure about a lot of things, but i know i am secure in my comic book knowledge. which i should be ashamed of. how many grown men in their 30's look forward to cartoons on friday night? wait- let me rephrase that. how many married men that don't live in their parents basement look forward to cartoons on friday?
i am behind on my chuck and fringe, but i never miss an episode of young justice, batman: the brave and the bold, and star wars the clone wars.
i am pretty sure my parents thought i would grow out of this, but now that i have a son and another on the way, i don't believe i will. i have been damned to a life of nerdy comic book ways... and honestly i think i am okay with it.
sure, it makes me have hardly anything in common with anyone else around me.
there was a time that i wished i was like everyone around me. to be a hunter and a nascar fan... middle school would have been a lot easier on me, but i don't think a gun rack would look good in my focus, but i did have a mullet.
i also thought by the time i reached 25 i would have being a Christian down pat. i would have learned to love people and forgive the people who have wronged me in the past. Wrong... if anything i have learned to hold on to my anger towards certain ones.
a few weekends ago i saw a person that had really made life difficult for me when i worked with a mission. he smiled and spoke to me. i just smiled and kept walking. i could barely force myself to look in his direction. then i go to youth group and talk to them about loving the unlovable... wow... have i really turned into one of those... do as i say, not as i do type of person?
yes sir, i have.
what am i doing to change it... hmmm... i guess i should pray about that.
i am also battling the desire to order more toys for riley.
one day i will complain about all of the toys in our house and the next i will go out and get him more. i am training my child to be a brat i think. ugh... i may not give him mountain dew in his toddler cup, but i am sure teaching him that he can get what ever he wants... forget the needs...
i feel like i just poured my heart out into my diary... now i feel less of a man...
okay, i just killed an ant... now i am a man.
aquaman is actually a cool character... don't judge him because he talks to fish... he is also super strong and can use his telepathy powers to make you have a heart attack.
i need to hurry up and plant my bamboo...