there are a lot of things in my past that i am not proud to admit. like the time i pooped on the hallway floor because my brother wouldn't hurry in the bathroom (i was 3, but i still remember seeing it on the brown carpet and getting spanked. i wonder if i wiped before her hand met my butt?). those are things you would rather not share with the ones around you, but here lately it has come to my attention that there are a lot of people who know about something from my past that i am not proud of. so let me admit this before it has been twisted and turned into something else.
it began back in the sixth grade. i had discovered girls (b.j., heather, amanda, and jamie). i had also discovered that they liked to hear me sing. i was young and my voice had not changed yet nor had certain parts of my body discovered hair (armpits, perv). so i joined choir and the love with singing began. i noticed how some girls liked to sit and talk with me. how they would tell other girls how well i could sing (this is no longer true).
i had also noticed the love for the boy band new kids on the block. girls would scream and cry for them. they were loved by them. they could do no wrong. so it hit me. i can sing. i can learn to dance. i should become a new kid.
my face turns red even as i write this, but i must tell my dark secret.
i wrote to them and asked if they wanted a newer member. as you can tell.. they didn't respond, but still i tried. i even sang please don't go girl at a talent show and got a girlfriend out of it. a lot of the guys didn't like me cause i sang, but the girls did and that is what mattered at that time. little did i know that this moment in my past would follow me for years. that people would hold it over my head. so no more! this is no longer going to control me. i have over come my dream to be a new kid and God has forgiven me. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me and love me like you did before you knew how far i fell.