when will i grow up?

as a teenager i believed that i would be a mature adult by the time i reached 25. when i was 25 i assumed that i would act more like an adult when i turned 30.
now that i am 30, i am guessing that by the time i am 40 i will grow up.

the sad thing is that i was also told that once you become a parent you automatically become an adult (this may have been one of the reasons why i was so nervous about becoming a father). boy were they wrong.

i envisioned me getting up at 6 in the morning and making coffee and watching the morning news. i imagined that i would spend my evenings working in the basement on different projects. i was hoping that i would have learned how to work on a car and i would always know what that odd sound was coming from the engine.

it has yet to happen.

i still sleep in on my days off. on a work day i wake up at 7:15 and rush to work. in the evenings i play with jasper and watch cartoons until it is time for me to go to bed. i still spend 20 something (ang says i "waste") dollars on comics. i forget to change the oil in my car and i almost run out of gas at least once a week. i show up to work barely awake and i constantly forget to put things on the docket.

how can i force adulthood on myself? how can i become a more responsible adult.

do i give up comics, cartoons, kool-aid?

or should i just let nature take it's course? will it happen in time?

who knows and honestly... i don't think i care as much as i did when i first started this blog post.

i know one thing.... i have seen too many things in court that makes me thankful that i have this retarded mind.

some nights i come home and can easily push aside the horrible acts that have taken place in this small town.

so... i guess i will become an adult when i die... i just hope they don't find my bloated body with twinkies all around me and super friends blasting on the television.