forcing feeding

breakfast: one of the most important meals of the day. a meal that kicks starts your body. a meal that i used to avoid as a teen. a meal that was forced upon me while i was in bible college (sorry josh, i mean propaganda school).

during my stint at southland i suffered many things. preachers who forced their views and twisted scripture to back up their views. students who seemed to believe everything that was force fed to them (sadly i fell into that trap my first year, but was pulled out by a good friend who partied too much. i just find it amazing who God speaks through).i was constantly being reminded that God doesn't like his children going to public schools (plus if you went to prom you were really bad off. i actually remember someone asking me if my parents were christians... they thought it was odd that a godly couple would let their children dance. it's a good thing i didn't tell them i shed all of my clothing to run around the school gym before the prom ended). i was unable to listen to any music with a drum beat. all of these seemed pretty bad, but nothing was as bad as being forced to get up and eat breakfast at 7.

most college students enjoy walking into class barely awake, but not me. i would get up at 6, iron my clothes (if we had wrinkles we could get in trouble), clean my dorm room (we had dorm checks each morning) shower, shave (cut myself every time. that is why i no longer shave), and say a quick prayer that God wouldn't get mad at me for putting cheat notes in my Bible to help me pass my theology test (even though i discovered that some of the answers were never in my Bible, they were just the beliefs of the teacher). i would then run to the dinning hall and wonder if i was going to eat the food put before me.

some days the food was pretty good, but other days it was down right sinful. they would boil eggs and toast some bread. that was it. on a rare occasion i would eat this, but later realize that it had some really bad effects on the body. i would sit in class praying that i wouldn't blow up from the amount of gas building in my bloated belly.

once in awhile i would become brave and skip breakfast. i would wake up at 6 and realize that i am an adult and no one can force me to eat. so i would stay in bed. i would walk into class refreshed and gas free. i would only realize after my class that it was a mistake to think for myself and try to be an adult.

each time i would skip breakfast i would always find a demerit slip in my mailbox. apparently God thought it was a sin to not eat breakfast. so i would ask for his forgiveness and offer up a boiled egg as a burnt offering.

little did i know that skipping breakfast was not the sin... it was over eating that was a sin. i gained over 50 pounds while there at sbi, but no one ever gave me a demerit for being overweight (maybe because most of the staff was overweight)- just for skipping breakfast and not having my shirt tucked in (plus a whole list of other things).

thankfully i have learned to overcome my battle with breakfast and being overweight. i just don't punish myself if i skip it.

now if i could just get over my need to iron everything...