dell is the devil and the devil is bad

i started having computer problems monday night. i was unable to look at my facebook page nor was i able to respond to e-mails. it would always cause me to log back in. with each new log in screen, my temper started to show.
the next day i thought i would let tyler (star wars nerd, computer geek, good friend, and co-worker) look at my dell pc.
for some reason the problem would not show it's self at work on the court's network.
tyler informs me that it is not a virus, but something else... something wrong with the software.
stressed and missing the freedom of sitting on my chair watching cartoons while surfing the net pushed me to call dell (dum, dum, dum).
i call.
i get several voice automated messages.
i listen to an annoying recording of a woman telling me i could get the answers online (i really hate that message. if my internet worked do you think i would call this freaking number?).
finally a man picks up. he is from india. i can barely understand him and due to my country accent, he can barely understand me.
i try to explain to him what is happening, but he will not listen. he then proceeds to push me off on the next guy.
i am on hold.
i feel the need to pee.
i go pee.
in midstream he answers.
"what is your service tag number?"
trying to finish ( side rhyme: no matter how much you jump shake or dance, the last two drops always get in your pants).
i tell him the number and try to explain what is going on.
this is when the devil shows his ugly head...
"sir, for us to help you fix this problem you must pay 120 for a one time fix or 200 for a year's help."
"what? i have a warranty."
"sir, that warranty does not cover your software. only the shell."
"what? that is it?"
"yes sir."
"but it is your software that caused me the problem. i bought the problem from you."
"sir, how is it dell's fault? you have been the one using it."
i hang up.
i send a few nasty e-mails.
i get an automatic reply.
the next day i decide to just delete everything and start fresh.
stupid.
i am unable to install everything properly.
i call dell again after sitting in silence wondering if it is worth it.
"please enter your service tag number."
i enter the number.
"thank you."
click.
click?
they hung up on me.
i try this two more times.
each time ends with a click.
i have pissed dell off.
part of me smiles out of pleasure.
the other part curses because my computer still does not work.

never again will i buy a dell computer... NEVER! DO YOU HEAR ME DELL? NEVER AGAIN WILL YOUR CATCHY TUNES AND SLEEK ADDS PULL ME IN!"
now i know why you guys have the lollipop song in your commercial... you suck!