learning to love the town whore

since i was in middle school i have heard, made jokes, and laughed at our town whore. i should have known better. i was always taught to love. to look beyond the outward appearance and see their heart, yet it never stopped me from saying words to make people laugh at her expense.

the town whore ( i will call her freckles) is a short woman who is mentally slow. she is poor and is preyed upon by older men in the community. she is often seen walking the sidewalks with a cigarette in her mouth and wearing a blue jacket with cutoff shorts.

she has had several children (whom were all taken away from her). she is the only woman i have known in our town to be "fixed" by court order.

needles to say, she has seen and felt pain that i will never know.

a few years ago the women at our church were making gifts for people in the community. they were to pick someone and give them the gift. my lovely wife angie has a soft and honest heart. she had also heard the jokes about freckles and decided to giver her gift as an outreach to her.

she wrestled with the notion. always feeling nervous and afraid. it is never easy to approch someone that you don't even know with a gift... let a lone someone who has been the butt of jokes for many years.

this didn't stop ang from reaching out.

that was the first time it hit me.

freckles needs love too.

i made great effort to stop making fun of her. to pray for her.

a few months ago i actually had a conversation with freckles. she had been harassed by a man in town and wanted to know what she could do about it. i told her legal options and went on my way. little did i know that short conversation would cause her to trust me.

every time i see her now she speaks to me. we have a few short sentences and then she is on her way. each time we talk i see a little bit more of her heart and her broken life.

the way she has been used over the years has had to cause many scars and trust issues. to have her children taken and to never truly know them must be pain beyond belief.

once upon a time i would pass by her and laugh. wonder how could anyone love her? how could anyone sleep with her? how could she not know she was the town's joke?
but all of that has changed. now i see a soul in search of love and one that needs to be loved.
i see my heart loving her. loving her the way i was meant to. to look beyond the mess and dirty old men she fills her time with.

it's the way i want to be loved. beyond my failings and faults.