things you should never do

put on your wife's jeans and show her that they are loose around the waist.
laugh at a retarded person in a crowd.
admit to picking your nose in your sleep.
answer the door in your underwear.
talk to your mom about your sex life.
give your dog whiskey.
ask a color blind person if your clothes match.
eat out dated spinach.
shave between your eyes.
Nair your body.
tell your church you hate going to church.
those are just a few things i have learned in the past couple of weeks. i thought i would share my knowledge to protect you from making the same mistakes.