awkward moments in comic book history

snuggle bunnies

i have tried for the past couple of days to write a blog that would be funny or entertaining, but nothing seemed to come to mind, and if it did come to mind... i have had to stop myself from writing it.

i have found that some times i can write things that possible could hurt some people's feelings. it's not like i mean to (unless i really am setting out to make fun of a certain group), it just happens.

for example, a woman that i have known for a long time came into the office and needed some help. right after she left i wanted to sit down and write a blog about her and her family.

let me explain.

about 2 years ago at a relay for life, there was a three legged race. this lady's family had been winning everything. they weren't quiet about it either... so i decided that ang and i would enter the race. i am not very competitive, but for some reason i could not handle letting them win another game. the fact that they did the "suck it" move with their arms just made me even more annoyed. who does that? well, besides the wrestler all oiled up in a speedo... and that in it's self is wrong on so many levels.

so, ang and i tied my right and her left leg together. we practiced for awhile and i felt very confident. my wife is in excellent shape and i am on the fence with my physical abilities. still, i knew we could beat this family. i mean, the mom is in her forties (with a lot of..ummm.. we will call it baggage) and their daughter is only eleven.

ang and i stood ready.
the whistle blew.
we took off running.
we were way ahead.
then like every good athletic story...something tragic happens. angie falls.
what does one do?
in that split second i had to make a choice.
do i stop and help my wife up and let this family of loud mouths win or do i pick her up and keep running? i did neither.
they were quickly approaching...
so i did what i thought was best..
i just ran...
dragging angie behind me. sure she screamed and yelled. i even think she came close to crying, but crying is not for winners (of course i am not sure if that is even the truth... i rarely win).

we won that race... sure not without a price. angie had bruises for a few weeks, but the satisfaction of knowing that we beat that family... ahh... that was the best feeling.
sure they kicked my butt in turkey bowling right after that, but still.. they lost to me in the three legged race. to me... the comic book nerd that hates to sweat.

normally i would write a whole blog talking about that, but i am not going to.
i am going to work on my skills and not allow my past problems with others take over my blogging.

weary kind

this is not my normal taste in music, but i love this song. such a good and powerful song.

KLF ft Tammy Wynette - Justifed & Ancient

i annoyed my dad to no end with this song when i was in middle school. i am still not sure why i liked this song and i am still not sure why i still do. it is awkward and so is the video, yet i still searched a long time for this song.
i am sure you will also love this song as much as i do.
"bound for mu mu land".

girl scouts and broken kneecaps

i have a habit of ordering girl scout cookies and forgetting when they are coming in or how many i have ordered. needless to say, i cause angie a lot of headaches and my stomach a lot of pain. the biggest problem is, i rarely carry cash on my persons (that is a little court talk).

today was the day the girl scouts hit you up for cash. think of them like small time mobsters. they seem sweet when they offer you their cookies (which i think were baked in hell's fire), but if you don't have the money to pay up, they will beat it out of you. i have had several friends who have been through this ordeal.

"she was all smiles as she broke my kneecaps. i still wake up at night seeing that grin and freckles. my blood getting on her sash." dave says while taking a drink of gin and tonic. he has never been the same since. mention shortbread cookies and he starts crying.

so imagine my horror when i saw the little girl scout on the first floor (i work on the 2nd floor). my heart began to race. i don't have any cash on me. i watched as she took people's money. their hands shaking.

i did the only thing i could think of. i ran. i ran for the bank. i tried to do the math in my head. i figured i had enough time to run across the street and back before she was standing in front of my desk with a box of cookies and a baseball bat.

my little legs took me as fast as they could. i avoided any conversations with the people i would pass on the street. one goal. live.

i raced back to work and as i turned the corner i met the little girl with her right hand thug, her grandmother. they smiled. my heart was beating out of my chest. i played it cool. i held the door open and followed behind them. they entered my office and began going through the orders. when they got to my name i acted surprised.

"i forgot i ordered cookies. it's a good thing i have cash on me."

the little girl looked at me. she could see the sweat running down my face.

"here you go mr.hall. as always, a pleasure doing business with you." the words oozed out of her mouth like the lie from a serpent.

i survived the little green mob this year. i hope i learn from my mistake this year. keep some money in my desk and a gun under my trash can.

it has been a while

i have been a little lazy with my blog.
it seems that i have grown up a little.
i spend most of my time actually working and by the time i get home i just want to spend time with my family.
YET!
i miss being goofy and just saying stuff.
i miss making people uncomfortable without taking my shirt off.

i am going to make an effort to do better.

wait, don't i know this guy?

poor fakor

he-man's clone never fits in...

Riley's # 1 favorite video of 2009

Riley has had many favorite videos. his first favorite one was single ladies. then he moved on to michael gungor's "white man", but only one has kept his attention through the toughest of meltdowns... TEEN TITANS! this makes me proud.

the longest four days before Christmas

last saturday evening i watched my wife and son walk through the gate to sit and wait for their plane. i watched as ang and riley took their shoes off to be x-rayed. i watched as my son smiled and my wife as she carried him out of view.
my heart broke. i never knew i could love two people so much. i never knew that i would be so sad.
angie's family is in st.louis and i had to work up until the day before Christmas eve. i was unable to travel with them to st.louis and so being the good husband i am, i wanted her to spend time with her family before Christmas (we are spending it with my family in harlan county this year).
i spent the week without my family watching cartoons and eating a lot. at night i would lay in bed praying that i would see them soon and falling asleep holding riley's blanket (weird i know, but love makes me mushy on the inside...so i guess the inside matches the outside).
now i sit in the airport waiting for them to walk out and give me a big hug. i look forward to hearing my son laugh and talk non-stop. i am excited to talk to my wife as we drive 4 hours to harlan county. i cannot wait to spend the next few days with my family all around me... no matter how annoying some of them can get. i love them all.
Christmas has a new meaning to me now. i don't care about receiving or giving gifts... i just want to be with the people i love.
thank you james for talking to me many nights as i watched king of the hill. i am sure you got sick of me talking about my family.
thank you cartoon network for playing batman the brave and the bold over and over again.
thank you dishnetwork for creating dvr.
thank you God for my family and this life. i never thought i could be blessed this much with so little money.
Merry Christmas everyone!!!

happy horror days!

my good friend, co-worker, and official beattyville dork, tyler, showed me a scary myth of one of santa's unpopular helpers. he isn't a sweet little elf who makes toys out of wood. not a reindeer that flies him around the world... he isn't even the man who cleans up the stables... he is evil and will turn you into sausage.

"Krampus is a mythical creature. In various regions of the world – especially Austria– it is believed that Krampus accompanies St. Nicholas during the Christmas season, warning and punishing bad children, in contrast to St. Nicholas, who gives gifts to good children.

The word Krampus originates from the Old High German word for claw (Krampen). In the Alpine regions, Krampus is represented by an incubus-like creature. Traditionally, young men dress up as the Krampus in the first two weeks of December, particularly on the evening of December 5, and roam the streets frightening children and women with rusty chains and bells.In some rural areas the tradition also includes birching – corporal punishment with a birch rod – by Krampus, especially of young girls. Images of Krampus usually show him with a basket on his back used to carry away bad children and dump them into the pits of Hell.

Modern Krampus costumes consist of Larve (wooden masks), sheep's skin, and horns. Considerable effort goes into the manufacture of the hand-crafted masks, and many younger adults in rural communities compete in the Krampus events.

In Oberstdorf, in the alpine southwestern part of Bavaria, the tradition of der Wilde Mann ("the wild man") is kept alive. He is like Krampus, but has no horns, is dressed in fur, and frightens children (and adults) with rusty chains and bells, but is not an assistant of Saint Nicholas.

In the aftermath of the Austrian Civil War the Krampus tradition was a target of Austrian Fascists allied with Nazi Germany."

leave it to germany to come up with this creature.

ARGH!!! HAPPY HALLADAYS!

and this is my present to you... many crowns! this makes you a wise man!!!

we are not alone

this past sunday night i watched war of the worlds. loved the tv show in the early 90's and i did like the movie, but it caused me to wonder if we are the only ones.
then i see the news report about the sight in norway...
makes you wonder... or it could be a wormhole to the multi-verse.

i have now found a good reason to carpool.

derek webb.... oh how you have changed.

i know that a lot of people have already posted this... i like this song, but he has changed a lot.

oh Christmas tree

to avoid making my wife mad, i am going to suggest everyone who has a problem with happy holidays please read the article at relevantmagazine.com... this will make some of you shut up the next time you complain about holiday trees...

confession

my frist confession by paint brush.

new list of the not so popular cartoons i watched as a kid.

beetlejuice
shirt tales
silverhawks
woody woodpecker
wuzzles
dino riders

there is a whole lot more. i wonder if i should be ashamed of how many cartoons i watched growing up? nah... it has made me the man i am today.

mask

i was never a fan of hotwheels or tonka trucks, but throw in a superhero team with cars that transform into other things.... i am hooked...
i had a lot of mask toys. i remembered i always wanted the kid that had the robot that turned into a scooter... i just never found him... ah... to be a kid again.

one of the coolest toys ever

i remember the day i got castle grayskull... it was one of the best days of my life.
i still have it in my basement. i am hoping someday riley will also want to play with the coolest toy ever.